As a doctor, death becomes a part of your life. Sympathy, empathy and compassion become a limited resource in a sense where you are emotionally exhausted after experiencing suffering on a daily basis. Being a doctor requires a balance, as it may affect your ability to help patients, their loved ones and yourself. You know that death is inevitable, there are still things that science has limited understanding of. So, you think you have a grasp of what it entails but when you get a call and a voice you never heard crying is on the other end, you knew it was bad news.
My cousin called me on a calm November afternoon, I realized what he was about to say. Death is inevitable but it always is a shock, no matter how much you prepare for it. My brother who was right in front of me realized something grave had happened as he saw my face turn pale and the sudden dampness in my eye. My grandfather had just passed away. A sense of fight or flight came over me, I quickly packed a bag, requested a leave for the weekend, took a bath and went to get the car ready. Even though I realized what had happened, but I had a sense of calm, maybe because it was inevitable. It took us another hour and half before we set to our final destination.
I had a very good relationship with my grandfather. It was one of awe and inspiration along with a tale of heed. He born in a different era with a whole host of problems along in his upbringing. He was able to fight it all, rise above it and left this place, shaping it for the better. Born in well off family of farmers, but tragedy struck early in his life losing both the parents. He was brought up by his sister-in-law as he was the last of the male heirs of the family. He had life of up and downs, had issues financially, personally, politically and medically, beating a million odds, he made it through. He was a true inspiration to all! And shall be truly truly truly missed!
Update, Sept 2021. It’s the start of autumn, ‘fall’ as they call it in this weird country. I’m out in the evening enjoying you know very windy Midwestern City and I get a few call-in quick secessions, which I’m unable to pick up quickly! I get the news that just breaks my heart, my grandma Yashodamma, is unfortunately passed away as a complication of a routine knee replacement surgery. Which I was adamantly against, I was angry, frustrated and devastated. May the Annapoorneshwari rest in peace! A big enough patience and hope! Hard worker, persistence and the embodiment of selfless.